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Jaz Ampaw-Farr: Stop being a people pleaser! Start being more selfish! Outwit your toxic boss!

The award-winning motivational speaker and management coach reveals how you can stop being a people-pleaser to reclaim your time, energy and focus, how to avoid self-deprecating public proclamations that hurt you and everyone listening, how to get better at giving and receiving compliments to bring sunshine to your daily interactions, and how to tackle bad bosses to neutralise toxic workplace atmospheres

Jaz Ampaw-Farr
Jaz Ampaw-Farr

Jaz Ampaw-Farr is an award-winning motivational speaker and leadership, resilience, wellbeing and diversity coach. She is a former literacy advisor and stand-up comedian, and appeared as a candidate in series nine of the BBC’s The Apprentice. Her book Because of You, This is Me, which celebrates the vital role educators have in instilling ambitious resilience both in their learners and themselves, is out in January 2024. She lives in Milton Keyes, England. Follow her on X and Instagram. Visit jazampawfarr.com.

Jaz Ampaw-Farr: Start living the life you want, starting now!

What was your response the last time you received an unexpected compliment?

Did you instantly downplay it? Deflect it entirely? Or maybe you even quickly criticised yourself or your achievement is a desperate self-deprecating act that not only made you look bad, but likely made the compliment-payer feel a bit stupid too.

What about when someone asks you to do something you really don’t want to do. How do you respond? The people-pleasers amongst us will instantly say yes, no matter how undesirable or inconvenient the request. Why? Because the fear of letting someone down, even a complete stranger, is just too much to bear, even if it means hours, days or weeks of hair-pulling anxiety as the impending event inches closer.

Being a people-pleaser. Public acts of self-deprecation. Never being selfish with your time, even when you really need just a minute to yourself.

Does any of this sound familiar? Don’t worry. You’re in good company.

These were the exact responses award-winning motivational speaker Jaz Ampaw-Farr used to give to every nice comment or unwanted request that came her way.

Fortunately for her, and now for you as she reveals her secrets to Unfiltered, Jaz learnt a better way to live her life.

She found a way to stop trying to please all of the people all of time because of the enormous cost on her time and happiness. She learnt how never to put herself down in front of friends, family and strangers in an irrational attempt to make herself seem less arrogant and cocky, and make the people around her like her more.

And, crucially, she discovered how to always make time for herself so she could “refill her cup”, rather than fighting a never-ending and unwinnable batter to prioritise the care of everyone around her to the hugely detrimental affect on her health and wellbeing.

Take control of your life

In our second fascinating and life-changing Unfiltered conversation with the three-time Speaker of the Year Winner, Jaz details how you can set boundaries and start to prioritise your own needs over chasing the constant approval of others, and the transformative effect this will have on your health and happiness.

After all, if you retrain your brain to see self-care not as selfish but an essential and non-negotiable upgrade it will ultimately make you better at doing the one thing you want above all else: to take better care of the people you love.

Jaz also discusses the art of compliments – both receiving and giving – and how getting better at both will change your life in ways you can barely imagine, as well as how you can motivate and inspire those around you, at work or at home, by not just using powerful words, but authentic actions.

And no conversation with Jaz about relationships, leadership, motivation and authenticity would be complete without getting her expertise on how to deal with bad bosses.

She details her game-changing advice on how to work with toxic managers, especially those quick to criticise and eager to take all the credit, to make your workplace atmosphere not just bearable but enjoyable, and she reveals the warning signs when you know it’s time to walk away for good.

Listen to our full Unfiltered Extra conversation with Jaz Ampaw-Farr on Spotify

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